Blackout and Barricade Go To Silent Hill
by Arctic Banana
Summary: What happens when two Decepticons get lost and end up in Silent Hill?
1. Silent Hill: Origins

I got Silent Hill: Origins in the mail the other day! FINALLY!! So, to celebrate, I decided to write this humorous 5-part cross-over. Out of all the chapters that I've written thus far, this one has the most "hidden" references to the original Silent Hill games.

Transformers, Silent Hill, and NSYNC do not belong to me. Thank Primus NSYNC does not belong to me. Blackout's "Aunt Vertigo" does. You might see her sometime later in a future fic. Might...

* * *

_How do you know you're in Silent Hill? First, you are isolated by fog. You then hear footsteps and voices when no one's there. Strange creatures, the manifestations of the darkest corners of your mind, will stalk you. The souls of the lost and the damned hide in plain sight. Inanimate objects will bleed and feel pain. Reality is bent and shifted. Soon, everything will be black and twisted as you are consumed by the Other World. Your flashlight will be your best friend, and your radio will play back horrible sounds… static, white noise, the music of washed out boy bands… That's how you know you're in Silent Hill._

-Arctic Banana

* * *

Barricade and Blackout looked around. Everything was not as it should be. It was all shrouded in fog and there were bloodstains on everything. Sometimes the roads would stop and drop into an endless chasm. Barricade glared at Blackout.

"I'm sorry…" the Pave Low whimpered.

"That is the last time I ever take your damn shortcuts," he growled.

"I'm sorry…"

"I mean, it's bad enough some girl ran me off the road, but we don't even know where we are anymore!"

"I'm sorry…"

"And this whole place reminds me of your Aunt Vertigo's house!"

"I said I was sorry…"

"Look, let's just find where we are," Barricade said as he grabbed Blackout's hand and dragged him along.

"Hey, maybe that sign can tell us where we are!" Barricade said, pointing. "It says, "Welcome to Silent Hill, Oosa". Where the hell is Oosa?"

"That's USA, dumb ass," Barricade sighed. "Wait… Silent Hill? Isn't that the video game Frenzy likes to play?"

"Silent Hill's real?"

"It would appear so. What's that underneath the sign?"

"As seen on "Top Ten Most Haunted Places"…"

"Oh, great…"

They both grew silent as they heard the sound of static. Barricade and Blackout's com links were both buzzing. Barricade's radio had also begun to play back a horrible noise.

"Ahh! What is that horrible sound?!" Blackout jumped at the radio.

"It's some awful human boy band… I think they're called NSYNC!" Barricade answered as he struggled to turn it off.

"Make it stop before I rip it out!"

"I might beat you to that!"

He finally got the radio to shut off, but they could both still hear the static in their com links.

"What did the static in the game mean again, Cade?"

"I don't know… It means something… It means… Um…"

They both turned around to see what looked like a dead person with his upper half wrapped tightly in a fleshy body bag. Its arms were wrapped tight and seemed to stick out slightly as it struggled to break free of its confinement, and it drooled acid.

"Well hello there!" the armless freak said. Blackout and Barricade screamed and ran away. The freak stood there a moment, sat down, and started crying to itself.

"What the hell WAS that thing?!" Blackout gasped.

"It kinda looked like the time we welded Brawl's arms onto his body," Barricade said as he flopped onto his back.

"Yeah… That was funny. It looked like he had on a straightjacket," Blackout giggled, plopping down on his side, facing Barricade.

They both lay there for a moment, catching their breath, when… "Blackout…"

"Yeah, Cade?"

"Don't turn around…"

Blackout froze, listening to a wet sound behind him. "There's one of those things behind me, isn't there?" Barricade nodded with a look of fear. "Run!" He stood up and grabbed ahold of Barricade, then carried him as he ran off.

"I have legs, you know!" Barricade snapped.

"Yeah, but you run too slow!" Blackout countered as he streaked off down the street. He collapsed in exhaustion and leaned against a building wall. "Can't… move… energy… depleted…"

"Hey, look! There's an energon cube sitting on that door step for no apparent reason!" Barricade pointed.

"Convenient!" Blackout smiled.

After reenergizing, Blackout and Barricade continued to wander aimlessly again.

"Where the bloody hell do we go?!" Blackout screamed.

"I don't know… Let me check the strategy guide," Barricade said as he held up a book that said, "Strategy Guide: No, seriously…"

"Well?"

"It says that we're supposed to go to Alchemilla Hospital first."

"Why is it always a hospital?" Blackout grumbled as they walked towards Alchemilla.

"I think that's it," Barricade said as he pointed towards a building. A counter on the front read: "Alchemilla Hospital: Now 3 days without any patient deaths". A scream was heard from inside, and the counter restarted.

"Wow, that's just like the counter outside the Decepticon medbay… Except they have it set for minutes instead of days," Blackout said as they approached the door and unlocked it.

"Isn't it awesome how the buildings are suddenly large enough for us both to fit inside?" Barricade admired.

"Yeah! Totally awesome!" Blackout agreed.

They were standing in the lobby. They both looked around. Barricade suddenly realized something.

"I gotta go to the bathroom!" he said as he started squirming.

"We're giant robots. Since when do we got to the bathroom?" Blackout asked.

"I don't know… This place is evil…" he answered. "I can't hold it!"

"Alright, alright. According to this map here that I found on the wall, the bathroom should be this way," he said as he led him through a door.

Barricade went into the women's bathroom (the men's room was locked) and realized that a corpse had been stuffed into the toilet in the first stall. "Nice," he muttered as he flushed it and tried the next stall. It was locked. He knocked on it and received a knock back. "Hmm… Someone must be in there then," he said to himself as he began to try the last stall. He turned around as the door slowly creaked open, but no one left the stall, so he walked back over. No one was inside, and the whole thing was drenched in blood. He sighed and went back to the third stall. It was clogged and had a wallet stuck in it. Barricade stood there a moment, blinked, and turned around and peed on the wall.

After his business was finished, he left the bathroom to find that Blackout was gone.

"Blackout? Blackout, where are you?!" he called as he looked around. He couldn't find his companion anywhere. He shivered at the prospect of being alone in this place, and continued to look for him throughout the hospital. He ran into some weird guy named Kaufmann, a nurse in red who had a weird accent, and several strange nurses who looked decayed and had their faces bandaged up. He eventually found Blackout in one of the rooms with two of the Dead Nurses.

"So, how long have you two ladies known each other?" he asked them in a flirty tone. They both giggled in response.

"Blackout! There you are!" Barricade screamed.

"Oh, hey Cade! This is Lydia and Ida," he said, pointing to the nurses. "Say hi, Ida!" Ida let out a shrill, inhuman screech, which Barricade guessed was supposed to be a "hi".

"Blackout, why did you leave?" Barricade demanded.

"I got tired of waiting for you," he responded.

"Well c'mon! Let's go!"

Blackout sighed. "Alright. I'll call you!" he said to the nurses as they left. Lydia and Ida waved goodbye.

After running around and solving a few puzzles to get the glass eyes, they went to the door that needed them to be unlocked.

"Wait a minute…" Blackout said. "I've got all these high-tech guns and missile launchers, right?"

"Uh-huh?" Barricade agreed.

"And there's a sledgehammer over there…"

"Go on…"

"And my mechanical body can probably exert more force on the door than the thing can hold…"

"Right."

"So why did we run around finding fake human organs and use a sentence from a note we found to find out how to put the organs back into the dummy to get the glass eyes, when we could have just smashed the door down?"

Barricade was silent. "That answer wasn't in the strategy guide…"

They both went through the door.

"Okay, you know what Cade, I'm getting pretty sick of this place. Why are we even here?" Blackout moaned.

"Because you can't figure out how to work your GPS," Barricade glared.

"Oh. Right."

"Hey look! There's the exit!" Barricade cheered. He tugged on the handle. "It's locked. I guess we'll have to find the key…" He was interrupted when Blackout pulled out one of his missile launchers and blew the door open. "Or we could do that…"

_To be continued..._


	2. Silent Hill

This one's really short, and I'll explain why: I haven't seen the first Silent Hill since I was eight or so, as it's the only existing title that I don't own. I can barely remember any of it. So therefore, I kept this one as short as possible, because I don't know what I should have them do. I've seen all the rest of them though, so I promise the others will be longer, like the first chapter.

If you think the school food is bad in real life, you should see how it is in Silent Hill...

I do not own Transformers or Silent Hill. I wish I did though, because then I'd get both Blackout AND Pyramid Head. -drools-

* * *

They were back on the streets, which were now crawling with rotting dogs and Pteranodon-like creatures. One of them perched on Blackout's head.

"Great… This is just like the day Buzzsaw and Lasorbeak invited their extended family other for a reunion," he grumbled.

"Hey, look! Someone's there!" Barricade said, pointing towards a figure in the fog. "Hey! It's that bitch that ran me off the road!" he growled as the figure ran off. "Get back here!" He took off running after her.

"Hey! Cade! Wait for me!" Blackout called as he took off running after him.

The little girl led them to a school. She ran inside and shut the door.

"You better get back here and pay to get these dents banged out!" he screamed as he pointed to dents in his armor.

"Eww… I think I stepped in something…" Blackout said as he picked his foot up off of a rotting dog, blood and organs sticking to it.

"Alright, Blackout! Let's go!" Barricade growled.

Blackout was walking backwards and dragging his foot across the pavement. "But I don't like schools…"

"Now, Blackout!"

"Hard ass," he grumbled.

They both entered the school and looked around. A small greenish-grayish monster with a knife came towards them and made a horrible noise. "BEAT IT!!" Barricade snapped. It whimpered and ran over to its friends, who began to comfort him and tell him that Barricade was just being mean.

"Now where is that…"

"Oh my Primus! Cade, what is that?!" Blackout said as he pointed to something crawling across the wall over by the cafeteria entrance. It grabbed ahold of one of the monsters and ate it whole.

"Run for your life! It's the school food!" Barricade screamed as they ran back outside.

"What about that girl?" Blackout asked.

"Eh… I'll send her a bill."


	3. Silent Hill 2

There was going to be a part in here with Pyramid Head, but while doing my revision, I realized that the joke just wasn't funny at all and removed it completely. Ah well. Better luck next time, Pyrie.

Hands up. Does anyone else have a strong desire to throw Maria into Toluca Lake?

I do not own Transformers, Silent Hill, Ebay, or The Ring. I just write parodies of them.

* * *

"So… What do we do now?" Blackout asked.

"I'm tired. I wonder if there's any place we can rest," Barricade said.

"Let's consult the map then, shall we?" Blackout pulled a map out of his storage compartment.

"Where'd you get that?" Barricade asked.

"Ebay."

"Wait… You bought a map of Silent Hill, which you previously didn't even know existed, but you didn't get a map that would actually help us get to our intended destination?" Barricade said, confused.

Blackout chose to ignore him. "Hey look! There's a hotel!" he said as he pointed to a spot on the map that said, "Lakeview Hotel".

"That's worth a try. Alright, let's go!"

Along the way, they ran into an annoying lady named Maria. They threw her into the lake and continued on their way. They finally arrived and went inside.

"Alright, what the hell is this? It's like some… leg-monster!" Barricade said as he poked a Mannequin.

"It looks more like the soulless embodiment of shallowness and repressed sexual desire to me," Blackout said.

"Neh… It just looks like another weird monster to me. Hey, it's kicking me!" Barricade blinked as the kicking produced a metallic thunking sound. "Is it trying to hurt me or something? That kinda tickles…"

"Aww… I think it's cute!" Blackout cooed, grabbing one of its legs and picking it up. It began thrashing in his grip. "Who's an adorable little leg monster? You are!" he said, tickling its tummy. It started making a sound akin to a giggle. "I think I'll call you Leggy!"

"Cute," Barricade grumbled. He took a few steps forward and went flying over something. "Who the hell puts a table in the middle of the frigging hallway?!" he snapped. He watched as the "table" stood up, shook itself off, and walked away.

"Did that table have two heads?" Blackout asked.

Barricade was silent a moment. "This place is evil…"

They finally settled into a room. Barricade kicked the table to make sure it didn't have any extra heads, and Blackout put his new pet down for a nap in the bed.

"Hey look, a VCR! Maybe we can use it to watch that tape we found earlier!" Barricade said.

"Why would we want to watch it?"

"Shits and giggles."

Blackout took the tape to the VCR and tried to push it in. It wouldn't go in very far. "Is this thing broken or something?" he asked.

"Turn it around, dumb ass," Barricade sighed.

Blackout turned it around and stuck it in. "I knew that…"

Barricade sat in the chair facing the TV. Blackout sat on Barricade.

"Do you mind?!" Barricade asked angrily, his voice muffled by Blackout's armor.

"Not really, but thanks for asking," he replied.

Barricade wiggled his way free and sat on the chair's arm, sending Blackout a glare. He turned his attention to the TV. "What the hell?"

There was nothing but a ring of light in the center of the screen. They stared at it a moment. Then Barricade tried and failed to turn it off. "Shit… The damn remote batteries must be dead or something…"

Suddenly the phone rang. Blackout picked it up. "7 days for what?" he asked. It hung up. "Huh. Well screw you, then!"

"Blackout, that phone isn't even connected to anything," Barricade observed.

Blackout held the phone up. The wire had been cut. "Oh, will you look at that," he said in amazement. He set the phone down. "Well, time for a nap," he announced seconds before falling into an instant recharge.

Barricade stared at him. He was drooling on himself. He looked back at Leggy, who was kicking in her sleep. He then tried to fall into recharge from where he sat, and was almost asleep when Blackout seemed to mistake him for a teddy bear and grabbed ahold of him, pulling him close so he could snuggle with him and drool on his head. When Blackout finally woke up, Barricade was very moist and angry. "Time to go, Leggy!" he quickly said as he threw him onto the floor, grabbed Leggy, and ran. Barricade bolted off after him and crashed into him in the hall.

He stood up and shook his head, then glared at Blackout. "Why the hell'd you stop?"

"Did the hotel look like this when we got here?" he asked.

Everything was charred and covered in water. Some of the doors had caution tape on them.

"Freaky," Barricade said as he shrugged.

"Wait a minute… This place was on fire… Which means it's structurally unsound… And we each weigh several tons…" Blackout pointed out.

The next sound they heard was of the floor creaking underneath them before the whole thing collapsed. They dropped into the flooded basement. Blackout landed on and crushed a very unlucky and squishy acid-spitter.

"Ugh… Hey Barricade… Did you die?" Blackout asked.

"Yeah… I think so," he groaned.

"Leggy?" Leggy let off a screech. How she was able to make sound, Primus only knows.

Barricade stood up and looked around. "How do we get out?" He then watched as Blackout pulled out his missile launcher…

Five seconds later, they were standing in a pile of rubble, and they were all still so very wet. Barricade shook himself off in the same manner a dog would. Blackout and Leggy didn't seem to mind.

"Well, let's get going," the Pave Low said as he walked away from them. Leggy screeched and ran off after him. Barricade carefully stepped around the broken boards and the bodies of crushed, squishy monsters.


	4. Silent Hill 3

I think this is my favorite chapter. Silent Hill 3 is my favorite game in the series, and the Amusement Park is just so freaking awesome. This chapter actually makes a lot of mention of monsters from the game and even has some dialog taken exactly as it is in the game for realism.

P.S. Scrapers are also my favorite Silent Hill monster of all time. That's another thing this game does right.

I don't own Transformers or Silent Hill.

* * *

_"Turn on your light, and they'll see you._

_Make a sound, and they'll hear you._

_If you think it's scary being lost,_

_just wait til you're found."_

**-Silent Hill 3 TV advert**

* * *

Leggy led Blackout and Barricade throughout Silent Hill on the leash Blackout had tied around her waist.

"Why are we letting her guide us?" Barricade mumbled.

"She's lived here longer. She probably knows where we're going."

"She doesn't have eyes! Hell, she doesn't even have a head! She can't see! Look, she's been walking in a circle for the past fifteen minutes!"

Blackout let go of the leash and watched as the Mannequin walked in a circle around them before crashing into a tree.

"Aww… Poor Leggy's far-sighted!" Blackout sympathized.

"Far-sighted? She's fragging blind, Blackout! She gets along by recognizing sounds!"

"So, where are we now?"

"Slag if I know." Barricade slammed his head on a lamppost. "Great, now we're lost again! We wouldn't be in this situation if you'd have just asked that guy with the big sword and triangular, red helmet for directions instead of relying on Leggy!"

"Leggy was scared of him! Besides, you didn't want to ask him for directions yourself, hypocrite!" Blackout defended.

"How do we find out where we are now? The only one here is Leggy, and she's chasing that moth/butterfly thing!"

They both watched as Leggy ran in loops, trying to catch the damned thing, until finally she ran into a lamppost and knocked herself out cold.

"Ooh! I know! There's a little green arrow on the map that shows us where we are and which way we're facing!" Blackout said, pulling out the map.

"Wow, that's weird!" Barricade said.

"Hey look, there's a smaller yellow arrow running towards Lakeside Amusement Park. Wonder who that is?"

"Hey Blackout, where's Leggy?"

* * *

Blackout arrived at Lakeside Amusement Park with Barricade clinging to his rotor mount. "I still say I could have walked," he grumbled.

"Quit whining, Barricade! You sound like Starscream!" Blackout growled, pulling him off.

"Why do we even have to come here? You already have a pet! What about Scorponok?"

"I love my Scorpy, yes. But Leggy is my pet too, and I'm not leaving her to die!"

"What, think she'll get raped by that Pyramid Guy or something? She'll be fine, Blackout! She lives here, she should know how to survive in this environment! Now let's… SWEET MOTHER FRAGGER, WHAT IS THAT?!" Barricade jumped, pointing to something pink and stained with red.

Blackout nudged it with his foot. "It looks like a dead guy in a bunny suit. Why?"

"And that doesn't bother you?!"

"Well, the smell is a bit unbearable. Why do organics always have to smell horrible when they stop functioning?"

"Ugh, let's just find Leggy and get the frag out of here," Barricade grumbled.

"This place looks weird, doesn't it? It's completely black out, except for where the street lamps are, instead of floors there's rusty metal grating that separates us from a black, endless void, and there's burnt, decomposing corpses shoved in cages everywhere," Blackout observed. "Are you sure we're not just in Aunt Vertigo's basement?"

"Of course not. Your Aunt Vertigo's basement also has a Guillotine and a crematorium."

"Oh right, I forgot."

They both wandered around looking for Leggy. "Leggy! Leggy, dear! Where are you?!" Blackout called. "Follow my voice, sweetie!"

"Blackout, watch out!" Barricade panicked, grabbing his rotor blades and pulling him back before he fell through a hole in the grating.

"Woah! Thanks, Cade! That would have been embarrassing if I fell off!"

"Yes… Embarrassing…" Barricade sighed.

Blackout tensed. "Leggy's blind! She won't be able to see the holes! She could fall and get killed!" He grabbed Barricade and dragged him along behind him. "We gotta find my baby before it's too late!"

_-Five minutes later-_

"Barry-Cade, I wanna ride the roller coaster!" Blackout begged, tugging on Barricade's arm.

"What about Leggy?" Barricade asked.

"She can wait! Take me on the roller coaster!"

Barricade sighed, then pushed a baby Closer down and stole his tickets. They both ran for the roller coaster while his angry parents rushed over to investigate why their son was crying.

There was a short line, two wee Closers, a Slurper, and an Insane Cancer waited in line ahead of them, while a Scraper collected their tickets. When their turn finally came, Barricade realized he had two choices if he wanted to ride this turn: Either he sat in the back and had to sit with the horrendously disgusting Insane Cancer, or he sat in Blackout's lap up front. He quickly tried to get in the back, but Blackout grabbed his arm and dragged him into the front and onto his lap. Before he could get free, the Scraper closed the lap bar on them.

"Isn't this fun?!" Blackout said excitedly.

"The joy overwhelms me," Barricade grumbled.

They almost ran over some teenaged girl in a vest and a skirt, who for some reason was walking along the tracks. She "thankfully" jumped in time.

"Aww… I wanted to run her over!" Blackout groaned.

"You're going to the Pit," Barricade replied.

They pulled back in and got out. "Let's find Leggy now," Blackout said.

"Can't we just look at the map and find the yellow arrow?" Barricade asked.

"I don't have a map of this area," he shook his head.

"Can't you just draw one?"

"Nope. The strategy guide says I can't."

"Mazal Tov," the Mustang said sardonically and in a slightly pissed-off tone. "So now we don't know where to go."

Blackout pointed. "Why don't we try the Borley Haunted Mansion? I'm sure she'd at least pass through there. She likes scary places."

"Shocker."

"It's better than standing here doing nothing. Come on, let's give it a shot!"

They stood in the Mansion's "yard". "Eh… It kinda looks like Megatron's summer home," Blackout shrugged. They both entered.

"Welcome to the Borley Haunted Mansion!" a voice said from somewhere. They both glanced around. "We're so glad you came."

"Who's this "we" that you speak of?" Barricade asked.

"Please come inside and look around. When you feel you're ready, then go through the door." They both glanced at each other before entering.

The first room was covered in copious amounts of blood. The coppery, metallic smell of blood filled the room.

"Hmm… Kinda looks like the time last Christmas when Starscream pissed off Megatron by giving him socks," Barricade pointed out.

The voice started up again. "Help… Help… Do you hear those voices?"

"You mean the ones that keep telling me to hurt Barricade? Yeah, I hear 'em all the time," Blackout answered. Barricade backed away from him.

"A family of four was sliced into bloody pieces in this room."

"Cool!" Blackout and Barricade exclaimed in unison.

"Ah, the cries of the children… The murderer was caught."

"The butler in the dining room with the knife, right?" Barricade asked.

"Do you know why he said he killed his family? "Because I felt I had to.""

"Seems like a reasonable excuse to me," Blackout shrugged. Barricade nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, I'm lying. It's all just a joke. I wanted to scare you, that's all."

"Hey Blackout, are you scared?" Barricade asked.

"Nope," Blackout responded.

"The truth is only one person died by suicide." A bolt of lightening flashed, revealing a corpse hanging from a noose outside the window. Then all grew silent.

"Whoo! Do it again!" Blackout cheered.

Barricade reached into the display and wiped some of the blood off a chair. He brought it closer to his face. "It looks real…"

"It sure smells real," Blackout added, sniffing the air.

Barricade put his claw to his mouth and licked the blood off. "Hey, it is real!"

"Ooh… Spooky!"

They both went through the door into the next room. There was a dummy rocking in a chair to their left. The first door they came to was locked, so they walked towards the next one. A tied up corpse fell from the ceiling and dangled upside down in front of them.

The voice began to speak again. "That's Danny."

"Hi, Danny!" Blackout said.

"A quiet young man, but quite friendly as you can see. He was so eager to meet you."

"Aww, how sweet!" Blackout smiled.

"His hometown is New Orleans."

"Where's that? Canada?" Blackout asked. Barricade sighed.

"But he came here after first losing his way. Oh, maybe you might know?"

"Unlikely. We don't have a map for this area," Barricade said.

"Where is the path to heaven?"

Blackout pointed upwards. "Just keep going that way, buddy."

"Bye, Danny," Barricade said as they turned around and left out the newly unlocked door.

They both paused and were surprised when the voice didn't start up again. They shrugged and continued to walk through. Halfway through, the spiked ceiling dropped down rapidly and stopped before pulling back up again. Barricade was short enough that he didn't have to move, but Blackout had to quickly crouch down to avoid getting hit. He clung to Barricade and shivered.

"I just lubricated myself…" Blackout whimpered.

"Scared now, Blackout?" the voice laughed maliciously.

"Go to Hell!" he screamed.

"We're already in it, Blackout," the voice said. Blackout and Barricade were both deeply disturbed by this comment.

They both (carefully) continued on their way. Blackout refused to let go of Barricade's hand. They found Leggy cowering in the next hallway over.

"Leggy!" Blackout cheered, picking her up and hugging her. "Don't ever run from me again!"

"Alright, we found Leggy. Now let's…" He turned around to face them and noticed they were gone. "God dammit! Not again!"

He eventually found them both riding the carousel. "Hey Barricade, look! The horses are alive!" Blackout said, pointing to his horse.

It was wrapped in "bandages" of rotting flesh, had burned skin that seemed to crawl on its own, and breathed a bloody mist. Its head was twitching violently.

"Lovely…" Barricade said in disgust. "Why'd you run away from me again?"

"Leggy and I wanted to ride the ponies!" he explained.

"Oh, you wanted to ride the ponies? How stupid of me for not being able to read your mind!" Barricade said sarcastically.

"Yeah, you must feel like an idiot," Blackout responded as he and Leggy got off. "Soundwave can do that, why can't you?"

"Alright, let's go," Barricade grabbed Blackout's hand before he could run away again and led him off to the park entrance.

They all heard a growl and took off running and screaming when they noticed two angry parental Closers chasing after them.


	5. Silent Hill 4: The Room

Alright, I know my profile says I'm not updating because I'm on vacation, but I still have access to a computer, just less often than usual, and I'm not writing as often. This chapter took a bit long to write, and I'm sorry. I knew how I wanted it to end, I just couldn't figure out how to go about writing it. I must have started and restarted this chapter a million times.

I took heavy reference from Silent Hill 4 for this one. I watched a video on Youtube detailing all the hauntings so that I could write this (it really has been a while since I actually played this game...after writing this, I really want to play it again), and it also makes reference to other Silent Hill games, including the infamous UFO endings. I'm not sure where Blackout and Barricade learned about the protagonists from other Silent Hill games. I guess that information was in Barricade's strategy guide.

And now, without further ado, I present to you, the final chapter of Blackout and Barricade Go To Silent Hill!

* * *

Barricade opened his optics. That's strange…he couldn't recall ever going to sleep. He felt something tighten around him and realized that Blackout was behind him, cuddling in his sleep again. Leggy was in front of him, kicking every now and again, but other than that, was motionless. He heard something that sounded like a bunch of little kids groaning or crying or something.

Barricade carefully pulled himself out of Blackout's grasp and looked around. Was he in a bedroom? How did he get here? He didn't recognize this place. He turned around to face his right and saw something in the closet. He pulled himself up on top of Blackout so he could see over his bulk and quickly determined where that horrible sound was coming from. He quickly ducked back down, covering his mouth to prevent a scream from escaping.

"Blackout!" he whispered. "Blackout! Wake up! There's something behind you!"

"Huh? Barricade? Whus wrong?" Blackout mumbled sleepily, his voice slurring a bit.

"Look behind you…" Barricade replied nervously, trying to hide behind the Pave Low's massive form.

Blackout slowly turned his head to look over his shoulder. Unlike Barricade, he didn't try to hide his fear and grabbed his companions, dragging them down over the opposite side of the bed with him. All three of them slowly peeked over the edge of the bed so they could see the closet. The Shadow Baby/Ghost-Kid/Whatever stared back at them. There was no movement except for a bizarre rocking motion and slight movement of the head as the thing watched them.

"How'd we get here?" Blackout asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Barricade replied.

"Aliens did it…" he guessed.

"Uh…Aliens?"

"Yes…they're in league with the pink rabbit! One of them's looking for a little girl…"Cheryl", her name is…" Barricade gave him a confused look. "And then the head alien's daughter has a crappy experience with the town, and she goes and tattles to him, and the aliens come down and shoot laser beams from their ships at the town and it blows up." At this point, even Leggy seemed confused. "Then the credits roll and some Japanese people all sing some horrible song that makes fun of the cast of the video game…then when they finish, someone takes a machine gun and kills them all."

"Have you been smoking energon with Megatron again?" Barricade asked when he was finished.

"Maybe…"

Leggy made a shrieking sound before jumping over the bed and racing out the door. Blackout bounded after her. "Leggy, wait for Daddy!"

Barricade glanced back at the thing in the closet. It waved back at him. He stood up and followed Blackout and Leggy into the other room. They were both still standing in front of the door.

"Woah…whoever lives here is a slob!" Blackout said. He noticed something coming out of the wall straight ahead of them. "Gah! Barricade! The wall's giving birth to a dead person!"

"The wall's not giving birth, you retardicon! There's a ghost coming through the wall!" Barricade replied. "And for some reason, he appears to be stuck."

"Oh okay," Blackout said, this somehow being better than the explanation that the wall was having a baby. "Hey, what's in this room?" He opened the door across from the one they came out of and went inside.

It was a bathroom. There was a massive hole in the wall and the bathtub was full of blood. Barricade squeezed past him.

"Hey, look! A hole!" Blackout pointed out. "I wonder if it leads to China?"

"Why don't you stick your hand in it and see if something's in there?" Barricade suggested sarcastically.

Blackout shrugged and stuck his hand in. After only a moment, he yelped and pulled it back out. "Something bit me…"

_On the other side of the hole…_

"Did you get him, Bobo?" one Gumhead said to the other.

"Yep. Why do people always insist on sticking their limbs into dark holes and crevices in survival horror video games?" the other Gumhead replied.

"Maybe I should stick my head in there so I can see what's there this time?" Blackout said in a super-mega-retard moment. He stuck his head in. It came out in a subway station. Two dogs with really long tongues that dragged along the ground, one pink, the other yellow, looked up at him. "Ooh! Puppies!" he squealed happily. The Sniffer Dogs both yelped and ran off whimpering. "The puppies don't want to play with me…I sad…"

He pulled his head back through. "I wonder what'll happen if I stick my head in again…" He shoved his head back into the hole. This time he came out at an orphanage. There was a crazy guy on fire drinking chocolate milk next to the entrance, muttering something about a devil. He pulled his head back through, smiled evily, and stuck it back in again.

He seemed to be in a wet, water-sodden prison of some sort. There was this huge, cloaked monster with two heads that stood on its hands (it had no legs). It pointed at him and loudly whispered, "Receiver!" He quickly pulled his head out before sticking it in yet again.

"Eww, I'm in a hospital again!" he groaned. He heard a squeaking sound and watched a rusty old wheelchair creak by, driven by no one. Then he noticed the wheelchair's shadow, which also contained the shadow of a person. He shivered and pulled his head back through.

"Having fun?" Barricade asked.

"Uh-huh!" he nodded. He glanced at the toilet. "Hey…there's something in there!"

"Yeah, so?"

"So what if it's useful?"

"Useful? What could be useful that we find in a toilet?"

"Harry Mason found a key in a bag of jellybeans," Blackout pointed out. "James Sunderland found a ring to unlock a door in a fridge. Heather Mason found a silencer in a wall…"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Barricade sighed. "And I'll bet you want me to stick my hand in there and take it?" Blackout nodded. Barricade faced the toilet, then prepared to stick his hand in it. He yanked it back. "I'm not brave enough to do it…"

"Eh, let's just leave it then. Come on, Leggy's waiting for us out there," Blackout said, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the bathroom with him.

They took some time to observe the apartment. "Hmm…interesting choice of decorating," Barricade said, looking at a wall covered in what looked like babies. Each and every one of them were moving and making sounds. He walked over into the kitchen. "The sink is running and blood is coming out of it…" He turned the knob. "And I can't get it to stop…"

"Hey look! Free peep show!" Blackout said, staring through a hole in the wall to the neighbor lady's apartment.

"That clock is ticking really loudly and it's driving me crazy!" Barricade growled, throwing a book at it. It knocked it off the wall, causing it to shatter on the ground, but continued to tick.

"This apartment is pretty weird," Blackout replied, sitting down on a bloody chair and watching a pair of shoes walk around, leaving bloody footprints on the floor.

"The windows won't open…the door is locked…there's holes everywhere…I think we're stuck here, Blackout," Barricade sighed. Leggy squealed from the couch.

"Oh, we can't be stuck here for long! I'm sure somebody will come and rescue us eventually!" Blackout said hopefully. He stood in front of the window. "Besides, this place isn't that weird, is it?"

"Uh…" Barricade stepped back when a severed head floated past the window behind Blackout.

_Five days later…_

"I've seen this show already…" Barricade said monotonously, staring at the haunted TV screen filled with static and making a horrible noise. "Hey Ghosty, can you change the channel?" The ghost coming out of the wall pushed the button on the remote, but the channel wouldn't change, the volume wouldn't go down, and the TV wouldn't turn off.

Leggy was in the bedroom growling at a voice that was telling her that he was always watching her. She ran out shrieking again when she heard a crash in the living room.

"Don't worry about it, Leggy. The ceiling fan just came crashing down for some reason," Barricade said calmly.

Blackout went to the fridge to find something to eat. He opened the door and stared at the bloody shelf containing the only thing inside, a bloody hunk of rotting flesh that was wiggling and moving on its own. He shrugged and snatched it off the shelf, popping it into his mouth and chewing it. It screamed in pain the whole time.

The shutters on the windows started opening and slamming shut on their own, drowning out the ticking and static noises from the haunted clock and TV. Blackout sat down on the box under the wall of babies and stared at the ceiling fan on the ground. Leggy was in the laundry room growling at the blood dripping out of the dryer.

"So, what do we do now?" Barricade asked, picking up a car magazine off the side table and opening it. "Woah…check out the bumper on that Mustang!"

"I don't know…I'm gonna go punch a hole in the wall between the bedroom and bathroom door. The walls are already filled with holes. No one will notice another one," Blackout shrugged.

"Yeah, you go do that," Barricade replied. Seconds later, he heard a crumbling sound as Blackout knocked out the wall.

"Woah…you know, they have a dead person in the wall!" Blackout called.

"Yeah, I know. We named him Ghosty, remember?" Barricade said, nodding towards the ghost in the wall.

"No, I mean there's another one! Come look!"

Leggy left the laundry room and ran over to him in curiosity. Barricade sighed and followed suit. Blackout was right…behind the wall that he'd punched out, there was a corpse in a room. Blackout stood there staring at it in wonder.

"Let's poke it!" Blackout said, running towards it.

"Wow…how have we not smelled that all this time?" Barricade asked, covering his nose to block out the horrible smell of decaying flesh.

"I don't know…maybe there's a layer of Febreze in the walls?" Blackout suggested, poking the corpse and watching its arm break off and fall to the floor.

Leggy turned around and squee'd at something, running out of the hole in the wall. "Hey Blackout, I think Leggy's noticed something," Barricade said. "Come on. Let's go check it out."

"Aww, but I wanna poke the body!" Blackout whined.

"You can poke it later. We're likely not going anywhere. Now come on!" Barricade grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room.

Leggy was hopping up and down in the living room. They both approached her. "Leggy? What is it girl? What's wrong?" Blackout asked. She shrieked and ran in a circle. "Timmy's trapped in a well?! I'll save you, Timmy!" Blackout ran to the door and crashed into it when he forgot it couldn't be opened.

"Blackout, I think she's trying to tell us about the head coming out of the ceiling," Barricade pointed out, staring at the head.

"Hey, who the hell are you?" Blackout asked, rubbing his face. "Hey, are you the guy who knocked a big hole in the bathroom wall?"

"I'm Joseph Schreiber. I used to live here…" the head said.

"Oh yeah, you're the guy who's been threatening Leggy and telling her that you're always watching her!" Blackout said with realization. Leggy hissed at him and made a kicking motion.

"Yes, that's me."

"So, may we ask who's the dead guy in the wall?" Barricade asked.

"I believe you named him Ghosty," Joseph replied.

"No, not that dead guy! The one Blackout was poking!" he countered.

"Oh, right, that guy. His name is Walter Sullivan, but he's not important to you guys. Don't worry about him. I'm here for other purposes," Joseph answered.

"So, what are you here for then?" Barricade inquired.

"I'm here to tell you why you've both been called to Silent Hill."

"Wait…called to Silent Hill? I thought we got lost when we made a wrong turn at Brahms?" Blackout said.

"Yes, but only because Silent Hill called you. You see, if you're pulled into the Hell that is the Silent Hill Otherworld, you're either called there for some reason, or you're an innocent bystander who accidentally got drawn in when you tried to help someone else who was."

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY."

"NO WAI!"

"Wait, so everyone in Silent Hill has been called in for some reason? What about Cybil Bennett? Why was she in Silent Hill?" Barricade asked.

"She was an innocent bystander. We gave her a chance to leave, and she didn't. So she got sucked into the nightmare as well."

"Harry Mason?"

"His daughter was destined to give birth to a god."

"James Sunderland?"

"He murdered his wife and tried to forget about it. She was getting revenge."

"Okay then…so why were we called here then?" Blackout asked.

"You are here as part of your punishment," Joseph explained.

Blackout cocked his head. "Punishment? Punishment for what?"

"You didn't pay your phone bill."

Leggy chirped. Blackout looked confused. "But I put that thing in the mail before we left…"

"Oh, you did? Just a second…" Joseph turned his head to face the window. "Hey Mike, he says he paid it…check the mail!" Some guy standing at the window somehow sifted through a pile of mail, then found one with their return address on it and held it up for them all to see. "Oh, it seems you did pay your bill. Okay then, you're free to go." The front door clicked open and all the chains fell off it.

"Wait a minute, you mean you brought us to this horrible place because of a god damn phone bill that we already paid?!" Barricade growled.

"Not me. The town called you. I'm just a messenger. But yeah, that's pretty much it. Well, goodbye!" Joseph said before pulling himself back into the ceiling.

"Yay! We can go home now! Come on Leggy, Barricade, let's go!" Blackout cheered, grabbing them both around the waist and carrying them out. "Bye, Ghosty! Take care!"

_Some time later…_

"We're lost again, aren't we?" Barricade grumbled.

"No, we're not lost. This time we'll ask for directions," Blackout replied.

"Good. Where from?"

"Well, that sign back there said that there's a city up ahead called "Raccoon City". Let's ask for directions there," Blackout pointed out.

"Hmm…Raccoon City…where have I heard of that place before?" Barricade thought out loud. Leggy chirped in response.

_At Disney World…_

Frenzy sat on a bench with Scorponok beside him. Scorponok had a balloon and was wearing Mickey Mouse ears. "Where a-are they? Th-they were supposed to m-meet us here days ago!" Frenzy growled impatiently. Scorponok squee'd with equal impatience.


End file.
